How to set boundaries with visitors at Christmas during the newborn stage

If you’re expecting a newborn this festive season, or have just had your little one, it can be an exciting time filled with love and brooding. However, with everyone keen to visit your newborn, it can be stressful and overwhelming for yourself and your baby.

At a time when social gatherings are in full swing, it’s normal to feel anxious. Your main priority is your own healing and your baby’s safety and wellbeing. This guide will give you practical advice to setting boundaries without feeling guilty, so your first Christmas can be special.

Why you should prioritise your boundaries

Giving birth is a major physical ordeal and, in the postpartum stage, taking time to heal and recover is imperative. Alongside healing, you may also be experiencing broken sleep, so your body needs time to recover. The stress from constant visits can have an impact on new mothers’ mood, milk supply and overall recovery.

For a newborn, setting boundaries will help to keep them safe as their immune systems are new and therefore very fragile. They can also become overstimulated with noise, light and being passed around. This is why a quiet, clean environment is also crucial for their wellbeing. Nonstop visitors can also disrupt the new flow of feeds and sleep which you’re trying to adapt to.

Set expectations

Although it can be difficult, communicating your boundaries before the baby gets here, or straight after, can help avoid the awkwardness of people showing up. Managing expectations before prevents any misunderstandings.

If it’s easier for you, this can be done over text message. Alternatively, some people choose to appoint one person who can act as the point of contact for those wanting to visit. This could be your partner, close friend, or parent and takes the pressure off you to set firm boundaries.

Practical tips to manage visits

When you’re ready for visits, scheduling them in is a great way to stay in control and make sure you and baby are getting enough rest. When someone wants to come round, offering a visiting ‘window’ will help you stay in a feed and sleep routine and set boundaries for how long they stay.

Don’t be afraid to ask visitors for help when they do drop round. This can be as simple as asking them to hold the baby while you have a sleep or take a shower. Often, your loved ones are more than happy to help but are unsure how. Communicating your needs can help them feel useful and make a visit productive.

Visitors will usually want to hold your baby, but don’t feel pressured. If this makes you feel uncomfortable, set this as a boundary. Remember, your baby’s safety and comfort comes first and it’s normal to be slightly anxious when people want to pass your little one around.

Say ‘no’

Saying ‘no’ can feel daunting, especially when you feel like you’re letting down someone close to you. However, there are polite ways you can set boundaries, so you feel comfortable without the guilt.

Communicating your boundaries with your partner or someone else close to you and getting them to reaffirm your decision can also take the burden off you. Ultimately, people who are close to you will understand that your boundaries aren’t personal but are to keep your baby safe and healthy.

Staying germ-free

When you have people coming and going from your home, keeping things hygienic is crucial to keeping your baby’s immune system protected. Because their immune system is essentially brand new, ensuring you disinfect areas where possible can avoid any illnesses or nasty germs.

When people enter your house, don’t be afraid to ask them to wash their hands properly before they hold your baby. For surfaces or quick clean ups, Milton’s Antibacterial Surface Spray and Surface Wipes are ideal for convenience, while being gentle near your baby.